Playing games as a comfort

It happened the first time in 2018 - when my whole world “collapsed”. My dad just passed away three months ago when my live-in boyfriend of 10 years told me that he was not happy. I know at that point our relationship was over, though it did not stop me from 'trying’ to negotiate it out and did what I can to save that relationship (yes, you guess it right. It was an unsuccessful attempt :D).

The first few months were a blur. My world as I know it collapsed. What I think was real, suddenly gone. In the midst of it, my sister-in-law once again introduced me to Pokemon. I have no interest in that game before, but suddenly it become something to focus my mind on.

Playing pokemon made me walk, to catch pokemons, rather than just feeling depressed and sitting at home.

Playing pokemon made me feel a sense of belonging. The game started introducing the idea of “raid”, where you have to battle a boss in a particular stop to get that pokemon. To walk around the city, then spotted a group of people huddling around looking at their phone, a sign that a “raid” was going to happen. I would quickly join them, allowing me to initiate a conversation with stranger about “how many have you got today"?”, “Did you get any shiny pokemon?” .. and sometime, ended up walking around with them around the block to catch pokemons.

Playing pokemon made me feel a sense of purpose. I will ‘tidy’ up my pokemons at night, tagging and disposing them. It made me feel in control and allowing me the feeling that I am re-arranging my “life”.

Some people might call it “useless” but for me, playing pokemon has been beneficial to me in my recovery after a break-up that shook my world.